Tag: the first girl i ever loved


In between breaths I am also going to attempt to learn how to sew/stich. I followed my ex-girlfriend back on Pinterest because 1. she has great taste and 2. I like having a small window into her world, despite… everything. No matter. I found this incredibly simple and lovely t-shirt that had what looks to…

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I’m pushing myself harder than ever with my training. I find myself laughing through the burn. I am learning to allow myself to feel it all. Everything. I lost someone along time ago that I never thought I would lose. It’s easier to just go on and not tap into what the loss feels like,…

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It’s such a confusing feeling on the days that I think about her— and want to look for her, but I don’t. I should be proud of myself, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the emptiness of the echo. Tonight I thought about her but reminded myself that looking for her doesn’t serve me. And if…

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My follow-through has never been strong which is something I have resented about myself for such a long time. Resent maybe isn’t the right wrong, but it’s frustrating to me understanding that I am in control of a certain amount of things in my life, but still not asserting my control over them. All of…

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Another contemplative, albeit productive day. A truth? I got caught in a web of memories, of questions, of regret. I pushed through it, am pushing through. Not allowing it to cripple me.

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What I remember most, is that she was an endless golden hour. alive, (in love) always fleeting.

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The First Girl I Ever Loved. (1)

  December 28th, 2016   I knew I should have never agreed on receiving electroconvulsive therapy from an admitted crack-whore named Brenda Breckenridge in the back room at my cousin’s dingy-who-the-fuck-died in here-smelling apartment. But, you see… I was hurting. And my issue with the entire charade wasn’t the smell of my own hair curling…

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