I had such a productive, forward moving day at work!
Today’s my mom’s birthday and I’m so grateful that she is still with me. She’s the tiniest force. I was so happy. But. I made myself finally listen to Elijah McClain’s last moments here with us and all I can think of is that he begged those monsters for forgiveness. I am heartbroken.
I got to hang out with my wonderful, hilarious, fucking irreplaceable family in a way that was safe and distanced. I love them.
I cooked myself a really yummy dinner. I sat at the kitchen table alone and enjoyed it. I surrendered to silence. And I was alright.
Sometimes I hate that my hands shake when I do hard things– say hard things. I understand it’s because I am inherently soft. Maybe, sometimes, I regret the softness? Not so much regret? Am annoyed by it’s constant hovering. Having said this, I am reminded that I am the soft girl, who does the hard…
Learning not to allow this anxious drum line that overwhelms my heart, rule my spirit.
Today the MS House and Senate voted to change the state flag, putting an end to an embarrassing representation of such a beautiful place. If I haven’t made it clear enough I’ll say it again— the South is more than what people have been made to believe. It is more than its bloodied history. It…
I put into a motion a plan today that was executed well and had a successful outcome. Sometimes I wonder if I bit off more than I can chew. I cannot stress to you what a mouthful my professional life is. But then days like today happen and I remember.
But! A good thing? I am learning control.
It’s such a confusing feeling on the days that I think about her— and want to look for her, but I don’t. I should be proud of myself, but sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the emptiness of the echo. Tonight I thought about her but reminded myself that looking for her doesn’t serve me. And if…