I completed an important class tonight. In it we discussed motivation and what that feels like to each of us individually. It’s interesting because while I know what motivation feels like to me, I never sat inside the texture of it. Slippery like rain. I know that when I’m motivated, I’m manic. I cannot sleep. I cannot do anything except think and/or dig at the thing that I need to accomplish. This isn’t sustainable. Better– I have not found a way to sustain that feeling. I operate under the understanding that of course no one is motivated 100% of the time and if you are, talk to me about how you do it. I say this sort of motivation isn’t sustainable for me because I think I feel it too much. It’s knife to bone. It’s all consuming. How I feel when I am motivated is exactly the opposite of Whale Theory. So, while this class has ended (and while I gear up for the rest of this journey) I am still going to to try and find a balance where I can sustain the motivation that tends to takeover, if only for a moment.
30-something Mississippi queer. Bleeding heart with a soft spot for honesty and oversharing. Conquering corporate America and my own insecurities– one day at a time.