there’s a constant humdrum of life that spills in and out and all around. i like eavesdropping on elderly women gossiping about their family and teenagers giggling at their cellphones with each other.
i like hearing the baristas talk about their lives, and the wedding (i am very excited about this wedding for these two women, who are loud– and black– and apparently very much in love because every time i am here the barista’s girlfriend comes in and the wedding conversation rears up).
today i learned that they went to four whole things of mocha and i assume that this is a lot because of course i didn’t ask.
i’m learning to balance this dreamer inside of me without losing her.
i come here and i melt into the fabric of the store and i write and i listen and i’m still.
i pretend like i don’t have emails to field and fires to put out.
i get to go back up in the air next month on a trip to chicago. i love that i love the air. i love that i love it even though it scares me. i love that she was right about how much i would.
perhaps there is more that i want to say but am unsure of how to say it.
i keep looking around me and the one thing that stands out the most is that every relationship that started around the same time that ours did, is going strong.
the other thing that stands out most is that it’s cold again and i always think about her the most during this time of year.
i hope it’s snowing in chicago while i’m there.
30-something Mississippi queer. Bleeding heart with a soft spot for honesty and oversharing. Conquering corporate America and my own insecurities– one day at a time.